What I gleaned about the story: To be honest, nothing. Some guy is getting bounced around in the back of a Jeep. No names. No idea where they are, or what they’re racing toward – or away from.
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Analysis: The first two paragraphs echo on “I”, and then the third and fourth echo on “The”.
Analysis: After repeated encounters with this issue, I’ve finally formed a hypothesis about what actually causes it. For me, I think the problem stems from the tedium of sentence after sentence that all focus on making declarative statements about the physicality of the scene. Who is going where, what is hitting whom, etc. In such a flow of prose, there is nothing to really think about. Did the rock hit the garbage can? Yes it did. One rock, one can. Crash. There’s not really much you can do with that. Not much to sink your brain into. It’s when we start to look at the motives, and the expressions, and the emotional reactions of the people involved in the events that our natural curiosities and analytical instincts have room to engage. Without that, they’re just valueless facts. It’s the human dimension that makes a gunshot terrifying. Without that, it’s all just expanding gases and hurtling lead.
Analysis: Now we get a paragraph where all three sentences begin with “The.” And since I haven’t been given so much as a name or geographic location yet, there’s nothing to hold my attention away from all this echoing. I’m done.
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